Whose Time?

Whose Time?
By Major Betzann Carroll
Dedicated to Stephen Carroll Jr.

It seems like we waited so long for the arrival of our first son. Finally, our 7lb.7oz.son was born. At two weeks old, Stephen was diagnosed with Aortic Stenoses and at two years old he was scheduled for open-heart surgery. His biggest concern at this time was to have a Mickey Mouse watch for his very own. He wanted a Mickey Mouse watch and in his own words, “what the Mickey Hands go round and round.” His daddy promised that after the doctors were all done and his surgery completed, he could have his very own Mickey Mouse Watch. Stephen was fascinated with clocks and watches, and had even attempted on one occasion to take a clock apart and see how it worked.

The day came to hand our only son over to the surgical team at Boston Children’s Hospital. I admit that it may have been the most difficult thing I have ever done. My husband took Stephen from my arms and gave him to the doctors, while I watched. It was difficult, but not as difficult as the waiting. We spent time in the hospital chapel. There we found a woman trying to meditate with chants and movements. There we found a couple trying to light a candle. Between the two, they could not steady their hands long enough to get the candle lit. Still another man was flipping through the “Readers Digest”, obviously looking for some comfort and strength.

We were then asked to wait in the private room, which was connected to Stephen’s surgical team. We would be notified of his condition during various phases of the procedure. This is where we would stay, waiting for the telephone to ring.

Time seemed to stand still. I imagined how I would feel if the telephone rang, and all was well. I could visualize Mickey’s white gloves turning round and round the face of Stephen’s new watch. I thought how exciting it would be to fasten the little red strap about his wrist, the very wrist that was now hooked up with wires of every sort. There was strength in the assurance of God’s Word.

“But when the fullness of time was come, God sent forth His son, made of a woman, made under the law. To redeem them that were under the law, that we might receive the adoption of sons.” Galatians 4:4,5

God is God! We reminded ourselves that His timing is perfect. God sent His Son to be born at just the right time. The length of our physical life may not be as long as we desire, but our eternal life is forever through Jesus Christ our Lord. We realized that whether Stephen was allowed many more years or just a few, perhaps none at all, he had the assurance of eternal life. God was the very author of time.

Stephen has since out-grown his Mickey Mouse watch. He has also out grown his Super Sports watch, his G.I. Joe watch, and even his underwater Swatch watch. I don’t even think he has a watch today! The physician said the surgery was successful and done at just the right time, which was very important. He could not guarantee that Stephen would have a long life span, but who is guaranteed a long life.

There will come a day when time as we know it will cease. Time will no longer be measured in minutes and hours. Mickey Mouse will retire. When time shall be no more, we shall live forever. God sent His Son at just the right time.

Do it Again, Daddy!

I was hanging on to this one trying to decide if it would be my Mother's Day post. But, I have another.


Do it Again, Daddy!
January 21, 2004
Dedicated to Stephen M. Carroll Jr. – January 21, 2004

“Do it again, daddy!” was a phrase, which first came alive for me during a commercial of a father and a son. Both were overlooking the ocean as the sun was going down. The raging ball of fiery orange, red and gold blazed the sky, sending dancing flames across the waters. Then slowly dropping lower and lower, and lower, it was nearly gone. Just as the last flicker of light seemed to disappear below the horizon, the complete silence is broken by the whisper of the child to his father, “Do it again daddy!”

Now the phrase consumed my mind and heart. It was not a familiar portion of scripture, or a quote from some great author, or even a friend’s voice of reassurance that gave me strength. It was this simple phrase. “Do it again, daddy?”

Throughout the Christmas season with its grueling schedule, stresses, and joys, I knew that soon our son and his wife “great with child” would arrive. They were not coming to celebrate the holidays with us. They were coming from The Salvation Army Seminary, so he could have immediate surgery. Now sitting in the hospital family room provided for those waiting for surgical results, the future became present. We had been here before. Both of our children called “Boston Children’s’ Hospital” home. We had walked these halls, frequented the coffee shop and occupied this waiting room. It was different, yet it was the same. This time we sat with his wife, his grown sister and his mother-in-law. Yet, as I looked at him in ICU, for a few moments that twenty-five year old body seemed to be the two-year-old baby, twenty-three years prior. I could remember our only son struggling for his life, buried in tubes, and surrounded by nurses and doctors.
God was so faithful then.

All I could pray, all I could even think was, “Do It Again, Daddy!” You can do it! You did it before! The God of the universe could hang the world in space and paint glorious sunsets. The God who created the world and gave His very own Son to save it. The God who was intimately involved with our son, and had saved him before, He could do it again.

I also realized that He would do what He willed; He was God. His will was ultimately best. I knew what my will was. I knew the will of an anxious, loving wife. All I could think, feel or pray was, “Do It Again Daddy!” as I seemingly drew close to Him. Just as the son in the commercial believed his father could do anything, I knew it to be true.

“Do It Again, Daddy!”… And He did.
Thank You!