I Remember …When!

I Remember …When!
December 14, 1996
Major Betzann Carroll

I am never quite sure what prompts a memory. Perhaps we remember because of the season, or because of our age. Perhaps we are drenched by a flood of memories because of a sensitive moment, which opens our eyes to the bridge between the present and the past.

As we prepared for the first “Doll Tea and Teddy Bear Parade” many individuals visited us. For the first time in Arlington, The Salvation Army had bought and distributed to interested persons, dolls and teddy bears to be dressed for needy children. It was an excellent way to share Christmas joy as we entrusted volunteers to be creative. How exciting to watch the dolls and teddy bears returned, arrayed in a kaleidoscope of color. Who could have imagined how “special” each entry would look? Residents of Arlington would look them over before they made their way to new homes, beneath many, many Christmas trees.

As one woman entered, she hesitantly handed me her dolls. She said they had kept her company and she would miss them. They were neatly packed in a brown box and covered with tissue paper and string. Most of the dolls had been numbered and tagged by Marion or Chris, but this time I lifted the dolls gently out of the box. When I uncovered the doll with the red dress, my eyes filled with tears and I remembered…

My mind went back almost forty years. I remembered a young six year old girl who also removed the tissue and string from a bundle packed neatly in a brown box.
She started school that year. She was the apple of her daddy’s eye and the baby of the family. September quickly turned to October and her father passed away. Her mother and family were overtaken by grief. Whether or not she understood the reality of the situation, she knew the pain of separation. October turned to November and December. She and her mother moved from the home they lived in, to an apartment in the housing project. It was not the home she was used to, but it was a clean two bedroom apartment. This is where she would celebrate Christmas, or would she? All of her older siblings were married or on their own. Her mother never seemed herself anymore. Learning how to care for a coal furnace, balance a checkbook, and keep up with life, took all the strength she had. Christmas was not her first concern. Her mother was not able to celebrate Christmas.

The six year old dreamed of another life, sometimes pretending she even belonged to another family with a mother and father. Two days before Christmas she heard a knock at the door. Her mother was not home from work and she was not permitted to open the door to strangers. But no one ever said she could not peak out the window. There on the front steps was a package. When the coast was clear, she ran out to get the box. She couldn’t wait for her mother to return so she could open the box. It just had to be for her. Finally, her mother came home. “It’s for you,” Mom said. “I don’t know where it came from, but it’s for you.

You might as well open it.” She opened the box with some struggling and gently pulled out a bundle of tissue and string. Minutes later she was holding the most beautiful doll wearing an exquisite red dress. Her mother was moved to tears as she held both her daughter and the doll tightly in her arms.

I remember this scene so well, because the little girl was “me.” I never found out who gave me that doll or how anyone knew my mother and I were needy. But, I remember when … God provided.

I placed the doll with the red dress on the shelf with the rest of the dolls. I thanked the woman for the time and effort represented in the dolls she returned. And I thanked God for the doll with the red dress that someone dressed for me so many years ago. Memories do help to bridge the present with the past. The time and energy spent in making a doll or teddy will have lasting affects. As time repeats itself over and over, there will be many little girls and boys who will remember when … someone cared and God provided.

Thank you!